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Sadness on Twin Flame's Birthday

L

linendeepsoul84

New member
Today is their birthday. And I feel so sad. I don't know why it hits so hard. It's just another day, right.

I keep thinking about all the moments we missed. All the birthdays we should have celebrated together. I wonder what they are doing right now. Who is with them. If they are happy.

I was out earlier and got this huge wave of emotion. It was so strong. Like a weight in my chest. I couldn't tell if it was mine or theirs. It felt like them. Sometimes I think I feel them from far away. Like a shout I hear in my head.

I hate that I can't just say happy birthday. Not mentally. Really say it. I want to hear their voice. I want them to know I’m thinking of them.

I know we have to grow. I know separation is part of this. It’s supposed to teach us something. But it just hurts today. I don’t want lessons. I just want them.

Maybe it’s silly. I’m sitting here wondering if they felt my thoughts. I hope they did. I hope they felt me. It’s all I have right now. Just this ache. And a quiet whisper in my mind for them.
 
It's alright; I completely understand how challenging it can be. You might have been experiencing his sadness, and if that wasn't the case, then it was likely as you mentioned, the reverse situation. Feeling each other's emotions in such situations is more common than we realize, which makes the connection even more profound and complex. It's incredible how relationships can create a web of shared feelings that extend beyond words at times.
 
What an awkward situation—perhaps it was because there was a lack of communication? I really dislike when that happens! It always leaves me feeling uncomfortable and unsure about the entire situation. I hope to avoid such scenarios in the future by being more proactive in my communications. :)
 
His facebook just ... disappeared. Like mine did. Back in summer, August last year, same time he showed up at my university, trying to reconnect. There's no way to reach out now. I keep thinking, well aside from telepathy. Such a long time quiet, such a huge event silent. I feel pretty helpless. Part fear, part stillness. Missing him, feeling it grip me awake. Holding present space feels the only doorway, but the sadness feels real and rude today. Questions just bounce inside dumbly off his separation onto a dusty impossible waiting pathway. No signs. A dried August sunset holds the contradiction. Important zero made gold somehow—and yet the ordinary "helpless" completely anchors miles to gray lonely hurting lines with no known bridge short of a miracle of ordinary heavy sky or salt my tear held strange and unwilling it all extends now really fine woven aches with no messages and few possibilities cut free except that we just still love online absent closed open cold stale warm cut across time awake no tongue air mere...
raw single strand of silence waiting.
 
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